Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court?

Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court

Divorce doesn’t have to be a tough, drawn-out process with lots of court appearances. If you and your spouse can cooperate, there are ways to skip the hassle. Keep in mind, that these methods might not suit everyone and have their pros and cons. Still, they’re worth considering if you want to avoid the stress and expense of court battles in your divorce. So, can you get a divorce without going to court?

Divorce and the Courts

To determine if you can avoid going to court in your divorce it is important to know when court proceedings are part of the process.

File for Divorce in Person or Online

Before, you had to go to the clerk’s court office in person to kick off the divorce process and submit your papers. But now, you’ve got more choices. Some states allow you to mail in your divorce papers, and many state and county courts offer online filing systems. You can grab the necessary forms from a state or county court website, fill them out, and file them online. 

Contested and Uncontested Divorces

When you and your spouse can’t agree on ending your marriage, you might have to go to court for a judge to make decisions. Divorce trials can last hours or even days. Even before the final trial, you’ll have to attend multiple court hearings to talk about interim issues like temporary support and requests for Child Custody Evaluators. You might also need to settle disputes about financial disclosures or other evidence.

Even if you file for a divorce without a fight, you might still have to go to court for a final hearing, depending on where you live. In several states, you can submit your settlement agreement and other paperwork to a judge. If everything’s in order, you’ll get the divorce decree in the mail.

If you do have to go to court for a final uncontested divorce, it usually only takes a few minutes. The judge might ask you some questions to make sure you’re following the state’s divorce laws and understand the contract you signed.

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Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court

Alternatives to the Traditional Divorce Process

You can avoid a contested divorce trial in several ways. You can reach an agreement with your spouse on your own or use “alternative conflict resolution” (ADR), such as mediation.

Negotiating Your Own Divorce Agreement

Negotiating your own divorce agreement can be achieved through effective communication and collaboration with your spouse. Start by creating a comprehensive list of your assets and liabilities to gain a clear understanding of your financial situation. Additionally, conduct thorough research to ensure nothing is overlooked. 

Divorce issues typically encompass the following:

  • Property Division: Clearly outline how you’ll divide your assets, including decisions about your family home.
  • Alimony: Determine the duration and amount of alimony if applicable, to reach a mutual agreement.
  • Child Support: If you have minor children, establish a fair arrangement for child support to meet their needs.
  • Child Custody: Develop a parenting plan outlining custody arrangements that prioritize the well-being of your children.

By addressing these issues before filing your divorce papers, the court will recognize your divorce as uncontested, streamlining the legal process.

Remember, effective communication, thorough financial understanding, and collaborative decision-making are key elements in negotiating a successful divorce agreement.

Divorce Mediation

If you and your partner can’t agree on your own, seeking mediation is an option. A neutral, trained professional will assist you both in identifying and resolving sticking points. The sessions are informal, and nowadays, online mediation is becoming more common. While having attorneys present is allowed, it’s not necessary and might even be counterproductive, especially if the attorney is aggressive.

At the end of the mediation process, the mediator typically prepares a document summarizing any agreements reached by you and your spouse. This document serves as the foundation for the settlement agreement you’ll submit to the court.

Mediation is often cheaper than a contested divorce, although the costs can vary.

Note that mediation may not be appropriate in cases involving domestic violence, high conflict, or serious power imbalances.

Understanding these aspects of mediation can help you decide if it’s the right path for your situation.

Collaborative Divorce

ADR, or collaborative divorce, shares the goal of reaching an agreement like mediation but has a different structure. In collaborative divorce, there’s no mediator; instead, each spouse has their own attorney. Together, they engage in “four-way sessions” with the aim of settling the divorce. 

Attorneys specializing in collaborative law often undergo special training, and in many states, they can’t represent spouses in court if negotiations fail, emphasizing the focus on settlement.

Collaborative law relies on a team-based approach where all participants work together. Neutral experts, such as property appraisers or child psychologists (for custody matters), are involved, and accepted by both spouses. Unlike mediation, where one neutral mediator guides the process, collaborative divorce involves each party having legal representation.

Key points about collaborative divorce:

Team-Based Approach: Collaboration is essential for all participants to work together toward a settlement.

Neutral Experts: Experts, like property appraisers or child psychologists, must be neutral and agreed upon by both spouses.

Legal Representation: Each spouse has their own attorney to guide them through the process.

If individuals prefer having an attorney represent them throughout the entire settlement process, they might opt for collaborative divorce over mediation. However, if an agreement can’t be reached, starting the divorce process anew with new lawyers could be more costly, as the new attorneys would need to familiarize themselves with the case from the beginning.

Divorce Arbitration

Divorce arbitration is an alternative dispute resolution (ADR) option for couples who are uncertain about settling their disputes but prefer having someone else make decisions for them. Unlike mediation or collaborative divorce, arbitration involves an arbitrator, similar to a judge, reviewing the case and issuing a decision.


  • Choice of Arbitrator: Both you and your spouse can choose the arbitrator, unlike in court where you can’t choose your judge.
  • Flexible Rules: You can agree to relax certain evidence rules, such as allowing written statements instead of personal testimony from a witness.
  • Scheduling Control: You and your spouse can collectively determine the dates, times, and duration of arbitration sessions. This flexibility contrasts with court divorces, which can be lengthy and involve unpredictable wait times for available judges.


  • Limited Appeals: Normally, you can’t appeal an arbitrator’s decision, unlike in a court case where appealing a judge’s ruling is common.
  • Costs: Arbitration can be expensive as you are responsible for paying both your attorneys and the arbitrator.
  • Legal Restrictions: Some states don’t permit divorce arbitration, so it’s crucial to check with a local attorney to confirm if this option is available in your area.

While divorce arbitration provides flexibility and choice, it comes with the downsides of limited appeal options and potentially high costs. It’s essential to weigh these factors and consider local regulations before opting for arbitration as your divorce resolution method.

Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court

Why Divorce Mediation Is the Best Choice

Divorce mediation is a smart choice for couples going through a tough separation for a few key reasons. Unlike a courtroom trial, mediation is a voluntary and team-oriented process where both partners talk things out with the help of a neutral mediator. This helps them feel more in control and empowered as they work together to figure out the terms of their divorce. It’s especially important for parents, as good communication during mediation can lead to better relationships after the divorce.

One big advantage of mediation is the privacy it provides. Unlike court hearings that are public, mediation is private. This means couples can talk openly about their concerns without worrying about others finding out. This privacy makes it easier for couples to have honest conversations and deal with sensitive issues. 

On top of that, mediation is cost-effective, quicker, and offers customized solutions, making it a practical and client-focused way to handle divorce. The flexibility and efficiency of mediation make it a great option for couples looking for a friendly and less confrontational way to end their marriage.

The Bottom Line – Can You Get a Divorce Without Going to Court?

Divorce can be tough, but there’s a helpful option – divorce mediation. Instead of going to court and dealing with lawyers, you and your spouse can sit down with a mediator. I will help guide the conversation so you can work out solutions together. It’s a peaceful way to handle things without all the legal stress. 

Check out Successful Solution for more info if you’re interested. Remember, divorces can be tricky, but talking it out with a mediator can make it a lot smoother.

Book a Call at 727-266-2202

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